Skipping Class
6人剧本。《逃课》，绝对适合大学生的剧本，讲述逃课的故事。
Cast
Anita: Never understands why students like to skip classes
Kevin: Treats “skipping classes” as the principle of university life
Ken: Eager to skip classes but dares not to do it
Jason: Always commits himself not to skip classes
Steven: Always gives himself a good excuse for skipping class
Rita: A professional class skipper
Scene I
(Anita, Kevin, Ken, Jason, Steven, and Rita are all Tunghai University students. They are good friends. One day, Ken and Jason meet on the way to the classroom.)
Ken: Why are you late? And, you just missed the last class. The teacher gave us the main topics for the mid-term examination.
Jason: Oh, shoot! I just missed it. Would you lend me your notes so I can make a copy?
Ken: Sure if you give me a good reason why you missed the class. You promised me that you would be in class on time today.
Jason: Believe me, I would like to keep my word. The problem is that I have the “Business Management” test today and I was up studying for it till three o’clock this morning. Then I fell asleep and woke up at ten o’clock this morning.
Ken: You studied until three o’clock this morning? Why? What did you do yesterday afternoon? I know you were free from four o’clock on yesterday.
Jason: Well, I met one of my very old friends on line and we just talked too long…
Ken: For God’s sake! Don’t you care about next week’s mid-term examination?
Scene II
(Anita, Steven and Kevin are talking to one another in front of a classroom. And, Anita is trying to prevent Steven and Kevin from cutting the next class.)
Anita: Hey, we’ll have the “Business Management” class in a few minutes. Where are you going? Don’t tell me that you are going to argue with Jason.
Steven: I will do anything for my good friend. Of course I am going to argue with the guy who gave my good friend a hard time.
Anita: You always like to get involved in someone else’s business. You’ll get yourself in trouble. Don’t you know it? ...
Kevin: Anita, don’t be upset with him. He will not listen to you. Just leave him alone. By the way, I am still waiting for your decision. Are you coming with me to the concert tomorrow?
Anita: Oh, I am sorry that I almost forgot it. What time tomorrow?
Kevin: Two o’clock. I cannot wait to see my adorable superstar – Jolin. Oh, how wonderful!
Anita: wait a minute. We have Calculus class tomorrow afternoon. Are you out of your mind?
Kevin: Well, I’m not. Yet I think we can just copy the notes from someone else.
Anita: No, this is a very important class. And you would never understand it without listening to the lecture.
Kevin: To me it makes no difference. Even if I were in the class I would never understand what the teacher is talking about. Besides, who likes to look at the old baldhead?
Scene III
(After Calculus class, Anita is on the way to the ST building. At the same time, Rita is walking to the ST building from the dorm. They meet in front of the laboratory.)
Rita: Here I am. Look, I did what I promised. I am a good girl, not skipping classes.
Anita: What are you talking about? This is the 5th class. You skipped the first four classes this morning. Yesterday you promised that you would not skip any class.
Rita: Did I? We don’t have any class in the morning but we’re packed in the afternoon on Wednesdays.
Anita: I beg your pardon? Today is Thursday and we have classes the whole day. Besides, didn’t you meet us this morning while we were going out to class?
Rita: I thought you were going to the library.
Anita: You are loopy now because you’ve skipped too, too many classes.
Rita: Why did you say so? I know that we will have the Computer Program test tomorrow.
Anita: You are incurable. The test was this morning!
Scene IV
(Ken and Rita are talking to each other. They are talking about how to skip a class. )
Ken: I wonder why your Calculus professor never takes attendance. Yet, every time I skipped class, my professor always knew I was absent. I think I am really unlucky.
Rita: well, you’ll appreciate what I’m going to tell you now, mythree very good suggestions.
Ken: What are they?
Rita: Now lend me your ears – First of all, whether you skip the class or not, you’ll never pass the course.
Ken: How do you know that I will not pass?
Rita: Calculus is extremely difficult. I don’t believe you can pass it.
Ken: Maybe you are right. What else?
Rita: Before you skip the class you should treat everyone nicely. And after that, you should try to flatter your professor.
Ken: Why?
Rita: Well if you treat the classmates nicely, they will help you sign your name on the attendance sheet. And if you flatter your professor properly, you may ask the professor to pass you. Lastly – To skip the classes successfully you cannot skip too many classes or too few.
Ken: What do you mean? Not too many and not too few?
Rita: You need good weather for skipping classes so you can go out to fool around. And then you need good timing so you can go to the newly opened internet café that is on discount. Finally you need good relationships with the classmates so they can cover it up for you.
Ken: You are a genius.
Rita: I am just very professional.
Ken: I see now. I will try sometimes. Hah, Hah, Hah!!!
Three visits to the cottage
Aside: Three visits to the cottage(中文名三顾茅庐) is a story from one of the Four
Great classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. He devoted his whole life to the cause and died in harness.
Our script is revised from this story . In this play, we add many modern and funny elements. For example, there are some spoken lines and actions which were copied from some classical movies like Infernal Affairs(中文名无间道), My Own SWordsman(中文名武林外传),The Flirting Scholar(中文名唐伯虎点秋香) were combined in our play. Also, we added some interesting pictures and audio to our slide.
Maybe there are some mistakes in our dialogue. But this play is the result of painstaking efforts of our group. So we present our script to you and wish you will like it.
Three visits to the cottage
Aside: After their swearing brotherhood to heaven and earth in a peach garden, the
three persons——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei-had to be janitors in Caocao's corporation to make a living for they could not find jobs. Meanwhile the legendary and mysterious character ZhuGeliang who had been forced to attend CET-6 test by his wife was reviewing examination contents.
SCENE 1: Liubei's home
Actors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei
Guanyu: Brother! We three have been hungry for days and when will this tragic life end? It's so terrible!
Liubei: Yu, it's impossible that I don't feel painful, isn't it? But as the proverb says it is hard to sit in Rome and strive against the Pope. Now we come down to Caocao's corporation as gatekeeper, anyhow we can fill our stomachs between whiles. It's very hard to get work now. No diplomas and no job offers, what are you dreaming about?
Zhangfei: Oh, Brother! ZhuGeliang's wife borrowed us 500yuan to cope with his husband’s CET-6 fees last month, it seems that it's time for us to be debt collectors now.
Guanyu: Yeah, Brother! Or we'll be as poor as church mouse
Liubei: Alas! How did I forget this? Let's go! Go~~ go~! Hurry up! Follow me and go to the mountain for dunning!
Aside: And then the three brothers climb the mountain to find ZhuGeliang.
SCENE 2: ZhuGeliang’s house
Actors: ZhuGeliang Zhu’s Wife
ZhuGeliang: Good morning! I am the genius ZhuGeliang. But I feel so morose recently. Because my wife forced me to pass the CET-6. What’s CET-6? Do you know? You?(Ask the audience) I’ve never heart about that. And she obliged me to read so heavy books and do so many texts. It’s ridiculous. My major is military advice, not English. Why should I read this?
Wife: Darling!
ZhuGeliang：My wife is coming，she is so long-winded that I can never bear her.
Wife： My dear, how about your study?
ZhuGeliang：These books make me want to doze. I’m dizzy.
Wife： Darling! Now, competition is so serious. If you can’t pass cet6 to get your master’s degree, it is difficult to find a job. I have stayed here for half of a lifetime. But never visit a bigger place like Tianjin.(cry)
ZhuGeliang：Don’t worry, these books are too easy for your husband and don’t need to learn.
Wife： Are you sure? let me have a test to you. Listen，read and see!
ZhuGeliang：A piece of cake!
Wife： Listen, can you spell apple? Desk?
ZhuGeliang: Sorry I can’t.
Wife： You can’t? Oh, how unfortunate I am! (crying) I'm wrong, I'm really wrong, I'm wrong from the beginning. I shouldn't marry here. If I didn’t marry here, I'll never in this heartrending place now,
ZhuGeliang：Don’t cry, don’t cry, stop! I ‘m going to study hard at once.
Wife (laugh): That's the spirit! Do you know? We are in the red for your Cet6. I even borrowed money from the gate keeper. What can I do when they dun for debts.
ZhuGeliang: Are you pointing to that gatekeeper Liubei?
Wife: Oh! Yes! Come on quickly! Boy!
Keeper: What is the matter? Madam?
Wife: Listen carefully! My husband is too busy doing his homework to welcome any people, so you will tell the people who calls on him that boss has went to study in England.
Aside: While it is going on, liubei Guanyu Zhangfei have came to the gate of ZhuGeliang’s house.
SCENE3 Outside ZhuGeliang’s house
Actors: Liubei Guanyu Zhangfei Keeper
Zhangfei: Let me knock the door! Open! Open!!!
Keeper: (Check from the peep hole) Are these men asking for the debt?
(Open the door)
Liubei: This is liubei! We are calling on ZhuGeliang and his wife.
Keeper: Zhu said he is not in.
Liubei: En????
Keeper: Oh! No!...I mean …I mean my boss is studying English in England for the exam of CET-6,and he may not be come back this month.
Liubei: OK! We will wait for him here!
Guanyu: Nobody knows that when he will be come back, so, let’s go home!
Aside: The three men went away with disappointed. After a month, the deeply autumn came! They came here at the second time. Unfortunately, they didn’t see Zhugeliang as well . Two month passed, the cold winter is coming! It is heavy snow and very cold outsides. ZhuGeliang knows the reason that why they come here three times, and orders the keeper to let them come in whiles his wife is out.
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